The second funny piece I came across in the Post is an old Style section Invitational which I reproduced below:
Report from Week 9, in which we asked you to come up with vanity license plates for famous people. But first, a quick mail call. A few of you have written in, asking what we do with your losing entries after the judging. What would you do with 500 lame Vanities? We had a bonfire. You're welcome. The Winners: Fifth Runner-Up: UP CHUCK-Princess Di (Bruce Powers, Alexandria. Also, "Hoops," Alexandria) Fourth Runner-Up: CALL AAA-All Metro buses (Harold Kerr, Washington) Third Runner-Up: R U MINE?-Dr. Cecil Jacobson, "The Sperminator" (Audrey Kovalak, Springfield) Second Runner-Up: NTM NTM-Judy Garland (Tom O'Brien, Winchester) First Runner-Up: FCC YOU-Howard Stern (Terri Levine, Herndon) And the Winner of the Irresponsible Books About Robbery, Torture and other Mayhem: FOR!-Dan Quayle (Don Beale, Arlington) Honorable Mentions: ONLYACAR-Sigmund Freud (Robert Hofheimer, Norfolk) I 4 GOT-Ronald Reagan (Anna Sokol, Alexandria) 1 2 MANY-John Riggins (Gordon Angell, McLean) YES DEAR-Bill Clinton (Tom Crites, Gaithersburg) I/M-Jack the Ripper (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville) QUAIL1-Dan Quayle (Eric D. Greenberg, Washington) IM L8-Bill Clinton (Jonathan S. Silber, Bethesda) (A blank plate)-Al Gore (George C. Montgomery, Bethesda) (A blank plate)-J.P. Sartre (Ken Schwartz, Burke) #####-LAPD cars (E. Kelly Merritte, Charleston, W.Va.) 1/8/40- -Elvis Presley (Neil Molenda, Arlington) I C U-George Orwell (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville) COPY *.* -Joe Biden (Harold Mantle, Darnestown) TRODHAM-Hillary Clinton (Hoops, Alexandria) FEELINGS-Bob Packwood (Nick Dierman, Potomac) GO CAPS-e.e. cummings (Rich Isaacman and Kathy Pedelty, Bowie) And Last, SO LONG-deceased porn star John Holmes (Margaret Welch, Arlington)